Monday, December 20, 2004
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
they are screaming to be heard.
there are plenty other other more importantly crucial things i know i should be doing.
i wonder...is this how it all is born? with ideas that just won't leave you alone?
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Thursday, December 02, 2004
caffeine or nerves? true despair or just another girly mood that will pass in a few more days with the onset of blood? it's hard to tell with uneasiness and dissatisfaction all around.
malaise? i think so.
avoidance? most definitely.
perhaps the only cure is absence.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Thanksgiving - different, relaxing, quiet, yummy...in so many ways.
Black Friday - wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole...you couldn't pay me enough to shop that day.
Now - it begins - the next 3 weeks will be filled with rehearsal after rehearsal after rehearsal. Rehearsals at least 3 times a week, probably more. My life will not belong to me until December 27th.
See you in a few weeks.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
not too close but on its way, like a wingbeat,
like the cooling of the wind, the slight initial tug of an undertow*
appearances are deceiving
why is the measure of love loss?**
when change abounds
this hole in my heart is the shape of you and no one else can fill it**
do not let me fool you into complacency
the strain of being born over and over has torn your smile into pieces***
*Atwood, Cat's Eye
**Winterson, Written on the Body
Thursday, November 18, 2004
perhaps she was right...everything really isn't all the same. i thought i was the only thing different, or at least that's how it feels to me. or, maybe empathy is too much to ask.
get used to it.
will i ever find...
"...peace in that house where memories materialized through the strength of implacable evocation and walked like human beings through the cloistered rooms." -Marquez, 100 Years
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
A couple of years or so ago (maybe longer - my memory is a little foggy), CBS 19 News switched formats. When this happened, I thought, "eh, I'll give them a try. Maybe it'll be good." Well, the new 19 Action News format was certainly, um, different. And by different I mean scandalously and unprofessionally different. So much so that I occasionally tuned in for the mere entertainment value of the reporting itself, not the stories.
We're talking botched stories, one after the other (Julia and Matt can attest to this - they've watched it while visiting). While an anchor was reporting on one story, news footage from something completely unrelated would be rolling in the foreground. Sometimes it was dead air with news footage, sometimes reporter commentary with a black screen. And this happened daily, more often than not.
Usually, the reporting focused the most heavily on the more nefarious things happening around town...anything involving crime, sex, drugs, violence, etc., but mostly sex. It's like Cleveland's local version of Access Hollywood. Sort of. So, when Spencer Tunick came to town, 19 Action News jumped all over the story.
Spencer Tunick has gained international notoriety for photographing masses of nude people in various urban locales...including in front of the UN General Assembly in New York City:
Now, I first heard about Spencer Tunick on NPR (I also listen to NPR religiously) on This American Life with Ira Glass. (Incidentally, this is the program which probably catapulted David Sedaris, another of my favorites, to fame.) Anyway, given the nature of NPR programming, one can imagine that any potentially 'shocking' story was broadcast with grace and aplomb.
Not so in Cleveland, which begs the question, "Is it art or is it something else?"
Over the summer, more than 2,700 people braved temperatures in the 50s and a 4 a.m. start time to take part in a nude photo shoot Saturday at a park behind the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum along Lake Erie. This story is innocent enough. However, Julia directed my attention to this story. It seems the station's own Sharon Reed not only reported on the story, but also participated in the photograph, while the station's cameras filmed the entire installation process. Consequently, the streaming video feed on the 19 Action News website provides readers with a teaser of the experience.
Imagine a lascivious-sounding female voice:
"If you were asked by a world-famous artist to pose nude, COMPLETELY naked, would you?"
Personally, I love contemporary art in all forms and facets, including nude photography. Give me Robert Mapplethorpe any day. I think Spencer Tunick, while not terribly original, is indeed an artist, and that his photographs are extremely artistic. To me, these photographs represent raw human vulnerability and really, the connection we all have to one another as people.
19 Action News managed to turn art into defamation when it portrayed Tunick's record-breaking* photograph as soft-core porn.
Feel free to comment.
*previously the greatest collection of nude people for one of his photos - 2500 - was in Montreal
Monday, November 15, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Monday, November 01, 2004
Friday, October 29, 2004
1. Would you ever get married in Vegas?
this implies i would have to get married again. which i won't. ever.
2. Favorite game show host?
i would have to watch a game show in order to have a host preference, right? well, then i guess it would have to be Alex Trebek, since Jeopardy is the only game show i've seen in the last 6 months.
3. Next movie you want to see in the theaters?
still dying to see Garden State. (Susan, when are we going?) although, there was a stellar review of Ray in the paper today so now i'd really like to see that. and now i'm craving jazz. and blues.
4. Have you ever been a vegetarian?
oh, how i have tried to be a vegetarian. honestly, i have, but i guess i just don't have the will-power. that is, unless, someone tries to sneak me some venison. you know who you are.
5. If you could go on a sciencey/nature type trip, where would you go?
what about you guys?
now the other stuff:
yesterday i spent about 2 hours in my storage locker clambering over piles of boxes containing all my earthly possessions. didn't find what i was looking for, but found a ton of books about which i'd forgotten. how depressing. i still packed a car-full and brought a bunch home, hoping to take some comfort in losing myself in items from the past...
and...sometime during the night my ear stopped ringing. hallelujah.
(know what i find ironic? when i run spellcheck for the blog post, the word 'blog' always comes up as a mispelling. hmm.)
Thursday, October 28, 2004
there was an incessant humming in my head...i thought it was the din from the computer, but alas, it was my left ear ringing, oscillating back and forth between Eb-6 and D-6. now i know how you feel.
also, i was randomly surfing around reading blogs, and saw this. i don't intend on having babies with less than 4 legs (dogs and cats, not mutant children, you idiots). or at least that's how i feel today. ask me tomorrow. anyway that photo may help in changing my mind. it's amazing. go look.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Monday, October 25, 2004
Saturday - I sat out on the beach all afternoon while Susan frolicked across the sand bars, and the boys dug a boat hoist out of the sand. Despite the deceptive appearance of the sun, it was brisk day...water temps probably in the 50s or so. However, that did not stop the boys from participating in a celebratory dunk after the 2 hours of digging out the boat hoist.
Sunday - Ryan was replaced by a pumpkin who just oozes personality, (isn't the resemblance striking?) and Kirk has found his new calling as a carver of 'punkins'. Another gorgeous, sunny afternoon...and our departure.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
There are some words that torment me. On the other hand, there are a few words which I find so utterly hilarious - just the sound they make in my ears - that each time I hear them, I am reduced to giggles. Every time. Such words are, in no particular order:
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Friday, October 01, 2004
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Friday, September 24, 2004
I haven't been to the zoo in probably, oh, 8 or 10 years. Maybe longer. When I went with my sister yesterday to pick up her paycheck, we decided to spend some time and walk around a bit. The weather was absolutely gorgeous...perfect for taking a stroll through all the exhibits.
We were able to see the new baby baboon, born earlier this month. I couldn't get close enough to capture him clinging to his mother's belly, but maybe if you look carefully you can see his little pink face in this photo. Also, Genny C., the elephant on the right with the longer tusks, is pregnant. (Love the animal babies!) Did you know the gestation period for an elephant is 22 months?! Christ almighty.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Diary of a Mad Housewife by Sue Kaufman
Ice Palace by Edna Ferber
Lake Wobegon Days by Garrison Keillor
Beulah Land by Lonnie Coleman
The Bouviers by John H. Davis
The Nature of Love by Kahlil Gibran
The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough
The Inner Game of Music by Barry Green with W. Timothy Gallwey
Serenissima by Erica Jong
This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Profiles in Courage by John F. Kennedy (Inaugural Edition)
LBJ and the JFK Conspiracy by Hugh McDonald and Robin Moore
Sophie's Choice by William Styron
The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
These should keep me busy for a while.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
I'm feeling an ounce better today, probably due to the two little red pills I swallowed earlier. I'm not really sure what they were, but they seem to be effective.
At any rate, my clear sinuses allowed me to venture outside the house for a spell already this morning...bank, post office, and Ticketmaster where Gretch, Lauren, and I purchased our Ani tickets for the December 11th show. Hopefully Tara will be able to go with us, since we bought her a ticket anyway, without her knowing. (If she can't, we'll need a fill-in, if anyone's interested.)
Later this afternoon, the three of us are headed out to the Webster Public Library used book sale: $3.00 for all the books one can shove in a shopping bag. They didn't specify how big a shopping bag, though. Hmm.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
and...tomorrow at approximately 12:31pm, we will welcome autumn.
i hope it's merely an ass-kicking case of allergies and not a head-cold. i've been told the ragweed count is high. never have i felt this awful, however, as the result of mold, pollen, or other various airborne spores.
my father was kind enough to offer the following consolation:
Dad: "you know, Heidi, symptoms of dehydration often mimic those of head-colds."
Dad: "yeah, and you know, dehydration is often caused by excessive drinking."
Me: "oh, i never do that."
Monday, September 20, 2004
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Friday, September 17, 2004
today i am telling myself to slow down and THINK
distance and class; the ignition of thought
to flourish or dwindle?
an indulgence, perhaps
what i really meant to say was this...
steam rises off the road masking the unkown
while we barrel through uncertain territory
but also through familiar quick wit
i missed you
i'm glad you are here; back
we drive for hours
we talk through time
where others have been threatened
by twelve years
will it be again
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Monday, September 13, 2004
Dan, and the Birthday Girl, who had just shoved an entire piece of pecan pie in her mouth after our mother told her not to do it.
Friday, September 10, 2004
Thursday, September 09, 2004
I spent all day yesterday going through choir music, trying to organize the hundreds of pieces of music in to some semblance of order. I decided the only way to do this was to create a database to catalogue my meticulous efforts...title, composer/arranger, part distribution, liturgical season, scripture correspondence, publisher, optional instrumentation, etc. I got about 2/3 of the way through the alphabet, making heroic efforts not the breathe in the dank, mildewy air that damp paper creates. Meanwhile, the piano tuner banged away on the upright in the sanctuary for an hour, adding to my general annoyance with the whole situation.
Today, I will actually transfer my notes from my legal pad into the database. I've always said it's too bad we're not paid for the number of hours it feels like we've worked.
Also, I'll be hunting down this recording to give to my sister for her birthday on Sunday. Anyone heard it yet?
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Brenda and Lauren...who says Mother and Daughter aren't alike?
Gretchen eyeing the meat.
Dad cooked for an army and the army never showed up. Look at all that chicken! (That's Dad, Lauren, and Gretchen...all the boys were at moe.down.)
(Dad, Lauren, Gretch)
Friday, September 03, 2004
Not quite the MDS-26, this is a pic of the Allen 27-stop Renaissance organ. Still a nice instrument.
Though I am a self-taught organist (piano was my main instrument, harpsichord my minor in college), even I can appreciate the phenomenal sampling on the Allen. Unbelievable.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
This whole concept came to mind a day or two ago, when I watched Girl with a Pearl Earring, after reading the book last month.
Girl with a Pearl Earring - Johannes Vermeer, Dutch, circa 1665
I loved the book, and I loved the movie. Who wouldn't want to do that for a living?
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
I have danced with my demons.
I have questioned what love really is, and what it isn't.
I have been left alone, with dry eyes and confusion.
I have known comfort, pity, obligation, and guilt.
I have tried desperately to fight my way back into my own life.
I keep things separated with gnawing misgivings.
It's funny how I manage to chronicle the creations and the demises, but never the evolution; from beginning to end.
"give me Religion and a lobotomy"
Monday, August 30, 2004
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Last night, on my way home from rehearsal, I caught the end of an interview with one of my quilty pleasures on Fresh Air. As for me? Heh. Since highschool, I have had an addiction to Tom Jones. So, it wasn't unusual to find magazine clippings of one of my favorite Welsh men (hah!) taped to my locker door before homeroom on any given day.
Look what I found:
(Caption: What's the kinkiest offering ever tossed your way? One time a woman threw a sequined jockstrap, because that year I was wearing sequined jackets. So I picked it up and said, "Well, this is next year's wardrobe.")
(Caption: Is it difficult to work in tight pants? Not really. I grew up in the '50s wearing tight pants.)
Incidentally, this is how cool Tom Jones really is...in 1995 he even did a duet with Tori Amos. *Sighs*
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
A few of my favorite Hirt-isms:
"If I'd had good eyes, I would've been a fighter pilot."
Written on a homework assignment:
"Thanks for keeping your work from last quarter - 20 points extra credit"
In reference to an F#-Ab-C triad:
"Root-less sonorities, not ruthless...ruthless...heh heh heh."
"You don't hear spelling. Spelling does not preclude function."
"But wait, Dr. Hirt! You have two secondary dominants in a row! So what?!"
"My wife says I'm the only one who thinks I'm funny."
"Two tritones nested inside one each other...that's a train...hmm...train-tone?!"
In reference to a female classmate's red sweater:
"That's a nice sweater. I would wear it, I mean, if I were...you know..."
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
(This is what happens when Ben has too much.)
On the evening's agenda was, first and foremost, the consumption of five bottles of wine between the four of us. I think my favorite was the Piping Shrike Shiraz that Ryan and I had selected.
And for the listening segment?
1. the Meyer Bottesini Concertos with Josh Bell (hubba hubba) and Yo-Yo Ma (Ben's selection)
2. Dear Boy from Candide (Bernstein, of course), and some other things that escape me now, which Susan chose. I vaguely recall some Sinatra in there somewhere. Susan - some help??
...and the three things I brought over as my contribution:
3. the Mahler 9th (New York Phil with Kurt Masur)
4. The Great Gates of Kiev from Pictures (my favorite Cleveland Orchestra/Dohnanyi recording of all time)
5. the first movement from Brahms' 4th in E Minor, Op. 98
Maybe it was the wine, but I cried pretty much all night. I wish everyone could be moved by music like that.
Once we ran out of wine, though, Ben convinced us to go to Jack's for last call. At first we thought we'd walk, since it's nearby. We headed out up the hill, the three of us arm in arm, with Susan still at home passed out on the living room floor. I guess I decided I didn't want to walk so we turned around and got in the car. After a pint or two of Guinness, well...I've definitely felt better than I did Saturday morning.