Thursday, February 26, 2004

I am going out with a bang.

After today, I have one more day of work, and one more Sunday to play. Then I'm done.

We are in lock-down mode at work - Boss is distracted and panicky. He's not taking any phone calls, let alone visitors. Of the auditor-type. He insists that all the doors to the offices stay closed and LOCKED. There is so much negative energy in here one could choke; it's a foul vibe. Can you say "Bankruptcy"? Thank God I am getting out when I am. Let's just hope I get a paycheck tomorrow.

I have been without my car all week and 80s Frank is ignoring Kevin and me, I think. On Sunday, he volunteered to replace my faulty thermostat and flush out the radiator (yeah, I sound like I know what I'm talking about). However, since then he hasn't returned any of Kevin's phone calls. Kevin is rather pissed off, because this means he has to get up early to drive me to work and to choir practice. If Frank didn't want to do the side job (FOR CASH!), why not just say so? It could have been done by now. I need my car by tomorrow afternoon, because there is no freaking way I am making my husband pick up his own g-d birthday cake.

Friday, February 20, 2004

my food heaven

If ever you are given the opportunity to sample homemade Chinese food, do NOT pass it up. Fabulicious. Victoria/Ning (which is what I call her, since she's not sure if she prefers her American or her Chinese name) brought me the most wonderful chicken and green peppers dish last night. I wolfed it down in about 2 minutes before choir practice.

My parents came into town last night, so tonight we begin the 3-week long celebration of Kevin's birthday. We'll have dinner tonight at Eddie's Creekside, where my parents are sure to make me look bad with the birthday-gift-giving that will take place. Details on the presents to follow, since I'm not sure if Kevin reads this or not. He won't tell me.

By the way - I am DONE with my outlaws. Done as done can be.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Oh my God. Last night was a colossal waste of time.

I think the outlaws already knew we were moving to Rochester, because after we told them, the first thing my mother in law asked was if Kevin could still get Disability. And that pretty much set the tone for the evening....everything either came back to money, or to them.

We were told we need to grow up. She told me I have a problem with female authority figures, and she called me a puppet master. She insulted my mother and my sister. She complained that she didn't get even a Christmas card (we didn't send them to anyone) and she complained that she didn't get any wedding pictures (neither did anyone else). She told Kevin that if he didn't come back to Cleveland for my father in law's 50th birthday party, she would never speak to him again. My father in law said we could move to China for all he cares.

Every time I tried to express how I felt about this, I was belittled or mocked. Basically the way everything went was that I would say how I felt about something, she would retaliate with something completely unrelated, and I had to defend myself. Nothing we said was considered with respect.

I brought up the lying, which she said she didn't do. I brought up her coming to my work, with which she saw no problem whatsoever. She also made it abundantly clear that she blames me for Kevin's psychological break and hospitalization - because of all the stress I put on him from the wedding. She said this all started when she refused to let invite my 30 extra choir members to the wedding. (About which she is absolutely right, because it was then that I took control of my wedding and we decided to do things our way.)

I feel defeated.

I tried my very best. I was calm and non-accusatory. I didn't place blame on anyone, but she didn't even listen to what I had to say. Kevin spoke up twice, but it wasn't enough. She thinks I don't allow him to call her or to visit her. She thinks when we move I will forbid him to have anything to do with her. I tried to tell her that is just not how I am, but the whole conversation was her disparaging me and picking apart my character flaws.

It was awful. I feel like we accomplished nothing, and I'm obsessing over it now because I'm trying to rationalize in my head that she is a logical person, but she isn't. I think she is completely disillusioned.


Tuesday, February 17, 2004

I feel like it's Doomsday.

There is some good news, which is that our house is sold. Finally.

The unsettling part is that tonight we are meeting with my "out-law's" for some discussion time. They don't know we are moving to New York yet. It is a very complicated situation, so I'm rather anxious and nervous. I hope it goes well.

Friday, February 13, 2004

It turns out that the nosy-looking-in-my-car-windows-people-who-almost-caused-our-groceries-to-spoil are really interested in the house. So much so that they came back to look again yesterday afternoon. I met them this time, too. Not as bad as they had appeared to be, though their Realtor seemed ticked off that I had to come home to grab my briefcase. I had forgotten it yesterday morning in my rush to get out the door to get to work. Usually I just keep it in my car, since it's just choir music. I only use it a few times a week, not necessarily every day. But, of course, the one day I forget it....

So I stopped home on my way to choir practice to get my briefcase. The couple who is interested in the house seemed nice - early 30s with a toddler who was wearing one of those Jester/Sideshow Bob looking-type hats with the jingle bells on the ends of the points. Cute. He really wanted to play with the dog, but she was hyper and I was not willing to risk this kid getting his nose bitten just for the sake of schmoozing with the prospective buyers. Not to mention I was running late for rehearsal anyway.

The girl who is replacing me as Music Director at church was at practice last night. I don't know what all the fuss was about- the committee who hired wasn't sure they liked her much. I thought she was very sweet. And, just the mere fact that she wanted to cook me Chinese food before rehearsal next week made me fall totally in love with her! She's a little shy, but I think she will do fine. Of course, no one will do as well as me, but she's maybe the next best thing, so I think I'll feel comfortable leaving. Kind of. Well, not really. I'm sad about leaving that job...I think it's truly an uncommon thing to really LOVE your job, and love everything about it. Those people who do are very fortunate.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

I would just like to announce that selling a house is the BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS. We have done 3 showings since Sunday, which is good, however, I would prefer that these Realtors stick to their schedules.

Yesterday our Realtor called me at work to tell me there would be a showing between 6 and 7pm. Fine. Kevin and I had planned to go to Marc's anyway, to pick up some groceries. We rushed through dinner and we were out the door by 5:45. At 7:15 we turned the corner on to our street and discovered 2 strange cars parked in the driveway. Not only is that an odd feeling, but it feels even more weird to see strange people walking around in your garage looking in your freaking car windows. NEWSFLASH: THE CAR DOES NOT COME WITH THE HOUSE!!!!

Kevin and I had to drive around the block for 15 minutes until everyone left, praying the whole time the groceries wouldn't spoil. I have half a mind to call the Realtor and bitch her out. I'm probably overreacting which I have been doing a lot lately, but I'm STRESSED and fed up with all this bullshit. I can't wait to move.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

death by Purple Moon

I am suffering from a massive wine hangover this morning. This is what I get for indulging in my American Idol addiction with friends who like to drink heavily on weeknights. My head is pounding.

More bad news....
1. I owe the government taxes this year.
2. Boss may not have enough cash this week to even make payroll.

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Full Report
Not only did I have fun at the Baby Shower, but I'm almost positive Meg, Carrie, and I almost got KICKED OUT of said Baby Shower. I think we were the only ones having a good time. At one point we were laughing so loudly, several dirty looks were shot in our direction. *smirk*

Aside from missing the exit off the Turnpike and my car nearly overheating on the way down, it was a good time.


This afternoon I am going to my very first Baby Shower. For my friend who is my age who is pregnant. Since it is snowing like crazy here in Cleveland, I am hoping that the weather is better in Akron and Youngstown. I'm going to meet Meg in Akron first, and since I have no idea how to get to Youngstown, we're going to caravan together to the shower.

I find it terribly hard to believe that already my friends are breeding. I felt the clock ticking a few years ago, but I think now my clock batteries have run out of juice or something. No ticking for the last year! Much to my husband's glee.

So last night we were in Babies R Us where ME is registered. Husband felt a little nervous, I think. I took note of how everything looked the same. Except for the cool present I got ME. I hope she likes it.

Full report, hopefully, tomorrow, as well as the latest capers of my infamous "out-law's" as they will now be called from here on.