Thursday, July 28, 2005

Salutations from Sackets

Who knew we would have internet access here?

Ryan and I decided it would be fun to co-blog and share some photos and anecdotes of our vacation with friends. However, since he brought his laptop, we have to post on his blog.

Go look here for a day-by-day account of our adventures.

I'll be back in a week.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

rain, rain, go away...

Only another couple of hours before we leave for vacation!

After I pick Ryan up, we'll grab brunch with my Mom and my "other sister", Lauren, who will be moving to North Carolina this Saturday while we're away.

I'll miss Lauren terribly, but who will I miss more? My 3 babies.

See you in a week!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

4 days and counting

As I mentioned in my previous post, our vacation is drawing near. I've posted a photo I took this past October, when we were last up in Sackets. I've never been there during the Summer months, so I am eagerly awaiting the swimming and sunning and sailing, and the long, romantic walks on the beach. *sigh* Is it Wednesday yet?

Thursday, July 21, 2005


Well, I'm over it.

Tuesday was a rough day, as Ryan can attest. I left his house in tears that afternoon, not fully aware of why I was upset, where I was going to go once I got in my car, or how long I would drive aimlessly. He chased after me. After persuading me to come back inside to talk, I felt better. He is unwavering in his support and comedic efforts which always make me laugh. By this, I mean how he crosses his eyes, puffs out his cheeks, and does 'tune in Tokyo'. It never fails. Only the ridiculously absurd seems to send me into hysterics. (Also, the competing Sean Connerys that he and Ben do are equally effective.)

Thanks for all the love, you guys and gals.

It's less than a week now till Ryan and I leave for our much-anticipated vacation in Sackets Harbor. In the meant time, I have much to get in order...the shopping, the loose ends at work tied up, the planning, etc. I am so excited I can hardly sit still. When was the last time I actually went on vacation for a whole week? Not since my month abroad in Australia/New Zealand, and that was, um, 13 years ago this month. Eek.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


I haven't known what to write about lately. The blahs of summer heat have usurped all creativity, dried up all motivation. But I am feeling more like myself these days, compared to how things were last summer. I feel like I know myself again and that is ok to be how she is; how I am.

Yesterday marked two years since Ex's hospital admission to the psych ER at St. Joseph's. This day haunts me, which may explain the nausea I experienced last night, the uneasiness of the last few days, knowing the inevitable anniversary was approaching.

Why is it that this happens? Why do we "celebrate" the painful anniversaries as well as the joyous ones? Haven't I have healed?

I remember....hours of waiting, dozens of doctors, Ex's incoherence exacerbated by not knowing where he was or what was happening to him...the painful shot of Haldol he would only take in the bicep, rather than the traditional rear-end shot, and his clouded words as he drifted out of consciousness: "Don't leave me."

Which I, of course, did.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4, Write down what it says:
"He noticed instead how her hair looped in slack, slovenly strands over her rather beautiful ears..." from Women in Love by D.H. Lawrence

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Hot air.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
An old episode of Law and Order.

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:

5. Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The fan on high speed. Some birds outside.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
A half an hour or so ago, to water the plants and do a little weeding.

8. Before you came to the Web site you're seeing this on, what did you look at?
Julia's Blog.

9. What are you wearing?
Black tank top, long pink skirt with little red flowers.

10. Did you dream last night?
I think I had a dream about my dog but I can't remember for sure.

11. When did you last laugh?
A few hours ago when Ryan was singing a Frank Zappa song about dental floss to me.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Three calendars, two tapestries and a eucalyptus wreath I made myself.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Yes! A stranger taking a chug out of Ryan's beer the other night when we were out with friends. The boys were outside while the girls chatted inside and got hit on by a guy who had the worst pick up lines ever: "I own a cat ranch..." and "I once had a 12 foot tapeworm hanging out of my ass..."

14. What is the last film you saw?
Beyond the Sea

15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Waterfront property.

16. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

17. Do you like to dance?
Not anymore, really.

18. Imagine your first child is a girl. What do you call her?
No babies.

19. Imagine your first child is a boy. What do you call him?
Again, no babies.

20. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes, if our country keeps going in the direction we're headed.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

love = books

I love books. I horde them, covet them. I read whenever I have a free moment, which isn't often these days. I also love to knit (my newest hobby), but when I'm knitting I feel guilty for not reading. I started a database of my book collection. Several years ago, I discovered I was reading things twice and three times without really realizing it till I was halfway through the book, so now I also write down in a notebook the titles I've finished and the dates I finished them.

Anyway, I was just now reading the blogs I visit usually every day. On on of my stops, I noticed that Jennifer has read 38 titles this year. Jeez! Now I feel inadequate. Where does she find the time? I have a lowly 9 to my credit. I can't really read more than 2 at a time, and sometimes not even that. Anyway, here's a list of what I've read this year, so far:

1. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris(02/05)
2. Sleeping with Schubert by Bonnie Marson (02/05)
3. Driven to Distraction - Recognizing and Coping with ADD by Dr. Edward M. Hallowell, MD (03-04/05)
4. Life of Pi by Yann Martel (04/05)
5. America's Women - 400 Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates, & Heroines by Gail Collins (05/05)
6. Leap of Faith: Memiors of an Unexpected Life by Queen Noor (05/05)
7. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd (06/05)
8. Intrusions by Ursula Hegi (06/05)
9. The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough (06/05)
10. The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje (07/05)
11. Mrs. Kennedy by Barbara Leaming (08/05)
12. Amy and Isabelle by Elizabeth Strout (08/05)
13. A Lady, First: My life in the Kennedy White House and the American Embassies of Paris and Rome by Letitia Baldridge (08/05)
14. A Book of Common Prayer by Joan Didion (09/05)
15. The Ebony Tower by John Fowles (09/05)
16. The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan (10/05)
17. Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler (10/05)
18. The Witches of Eastwick by John Updike (10/05)
19. Earthly Possessions by Anne Tyler (11/05)
20. The Aguero Sisters by Cristina Garcia (12/05)

Maybe I'd better step it up a notch!

I need to clarify something for all concerned parties. When I say I love and horde books, that is with the exception of $500 worth of flight books, technical text books about electricity and currents and other stuff that has absolutely no meaning for me. I don't horde these kinds of books.

It was Franz Kafka who said, "I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us."

Friday, July 01, 2005

another Friday meme

this time, from Becca:

1. Using your Current Initials, choose a different name for yourself:

Hannalore Esme Wystan.

2. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born?
Early 1800's in Vienna, Salzburg, or a wealthy family of the aristocracy, of course.

3. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have?
Books, yarn, and tea. There would be a mass of plants and greenery everywhere, and soft, red sofas on which you can rest your bum.

4. What part in a movie would you love to play?
The lead character in a movie about my life.

5. In your opinion, why do people suck?

6. If you had your own state, what would you put on your new quarter?
Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton on one side, and a picture of Seneca Falls on the other.

7. What's the oldest article of clothing you own?
A floor-length, brown velvet gown that my mother wore the day she and my father got engaged. That was in 1970.

8.What piece of furniture have you replaced the most?
Well, all of it, since I gave mine away to my brother and sister when they moved.

9. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at?

10. Record, Tape or CD?

11. What do you think would be the best concert ever?
Tori Amos, the Indigo Girls, Midnight Oil, Ben Harper, and Diana Krall.

12. What is the best part of your favorite movie?
When the Christ-like figure gives the new slave Juda Ben-Hur a sip of water in the desert.

13. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever?
Candy is gross.

14. If you were writing out your will, who would you give your CD collection to?
Classical would go to Ben and Susan; Jazz would go to Ryan; Alternative would go to my sister and Lauren for them to fight over. I'd give them all to Julia except she probably already has most of them.

15. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be?
Women's Issues (i.e. contraception and abortion, equality, etc.) and Religion.

16. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically?
Well, Sue is a wonderful visual artist. Beth has a great sense of style, and Anne is very crafty. How do I choose?

17. Most jealous of....intellectually?
I'm not really that jealous, but Ben's intellectual horsepower is sometimes astonishing.

18.What do you collect?
Books and plants.

19. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed?
The scanner funtion on my Epson printer.

20. What do you do when you're home, sick?
Sleep and read.

21. Story behind your username?
"Battlemaiden" is the literal German translation of my given name.

22. Current Favorite Article of Clothing?
Do shoes count? I am in love with my Birk clogs.

23. Line from the last thing you wrote for someone?
So, I write what I cannot say aloud.

24. A famous person you have met?
Tony Randall.

25. Favorite way to waste time?
Making collages of digital photos to send to my sister in Tennessee.

that sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach when you just know something is wrong

Probably, it's nothing.
Abnormal test results.
Follow up in three months.
Please don't ask questions now, I'm not prepared to answer them.
R. says not to freak out, but I'm nervous.