"Help is on the way." -Sen. John Kerry

Last night I watched John Kerry give his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention.

I can't recall a time when I was more impassioned about an election. Well, except for the Democratic Primaries. I am excited but also terrified by what could happen this November, which is something I think a lot of Americans are also feeling. This sentiment was echoed in the analysis (Larry King Live) I watched on CNN, following Kerry's encouraging speech. There were several interesting commentators discussing the speech with King, including John Cusack (LOVE him), the poster boy for the young Republicans who I wish to punch in the face, and an eloquent young man from MTV News with whom I think I am now in love.

Gideon Yago

Also, visit the Official Kerry-Edwards Blog.

My name is Heidi and I'm voting for John Kerry...but where are my G-D bumper stickers?!

you got me moving in a circle, i dyed my hair red today

Before her wedding, Julia and I made a deal to each cut off our long tresses once the wedding was over. 

I have been challenged...

shuffled off to Buffalo, came back exhausted

Here are the first round of photos...obviously out of order because I was too flipping tired to post them correctly.   See also Fiercest Calm for other photos taken during the weekend, not necessarily of the wedding itself. 

From the wedding rehearsal:


"Matron" of Honour (me) and Best Man Dave

Maid of Honour Anne & Groomsman Richard

"Wait for the last climax! If we have to wait, we wait, dammit!" (Dad and Bride)

"Too fast, too fast!" (me)

"Slower, Anne!"

About to recess.

The practice hand-off.

More vow rehearsing.

Practicing their vows

The Rehearsal

Efficiency

I got so much accomplished today that I amazed myself.  And no alcohol consumption yet...that's later.

Today I:
-vacuumed out my car and wiped down the interior and windows
-picked up the wedding gift/card
-got my photo inspection
-went to the Post office
-went to the bank
-got an oil change
-got a milk shake while waiting for my oil to be changed
-went to Wegman's to get last minute stuff (I LOVE trial sized stuff)

Still need to do:
-put air in tires
-do nails
-pack
-drink heavily 

To do

Today
Photo inspection on my car for the third f***ing time
Pick up dress at cleaners after 5pm
Call hotel
Clean out car
Call Anne and Beth
Pick up first of 2 gifts
Balance checkbook

Tomorrow
Do hymns for August and e-mail
Laundry
Water plants
Rehearsal

Thursday
Pick up second of 2 gifts
Go to the Bank
Get Gas
Put air in my tires
Get nails done
Pack
Comix Cafe

Friday
Leave!

100 things about me

1.  i am a natural blonde...really
2.  i have played piano since the age of 5, harpsichord since 19, and organ since 21
3.  i love dark beer
4.  i am obsessed with Tori Amos
5.  i have 2 cats and a Cockapoo
6.  my favourite colour is red, NOT purple
7.  my closest friends are all from high school
8.  i was a Girl Scout for many, many years
9.  i lived in Cleveland for 9 years
10.  sometimes i am afraid i will never be happy
11.  i rarely think before i speak
12.  i feel years and years older than i actually am
13.  i have dreams of conducting a self-composed symphony some day
14.  i'm closer to my Dad than my Mom
15.  i am fascinated by the Kennedys
16.  i love PBS and NPR
17.  i haven't watched TV in 2 months (except for Jeopardy)
18.  i do crosswords in ink
19.  i love the Happy Bunny
20.  i am a registered Democrat
21.  i emphatically believe the government does not belong in my crotch or my bedroom
22.  i own every book written by Margaret Atwood
23.  i am a closet hippie
24.  i love the beach
25.  i am fiercely devoted to my family
26.  i am the eldest child
27.  i can consume an entire pizza by myself
28.  i am more like my mother than i like to admit
29.  i can't bake
30.  i write a lot of erotic poetry
31.  i love to garden
32.  i hate sports but will tolerate them if necessary
33.  i like hairy men (but not on the back)
34.  i do not have a cell phone
35.  i love cheeseburgers
36.  i avoid going to the mall at all costs...
37.  ...even though i have a clothes fetish
38.  i curse like a sailor
39.  i go to church every Sunday
40.  i like to take naps
41.  i have never had a manicure
42.  i send cards to everyone i know at holidays
43.  85% of my wardrobe is black
44.  i was once locked out of the Southern Tier Brewery
45.  i'll do anything once, just so i'll have a story to tell afterward
46.  i could spend hours under a hot shower
47.  i never shave my legs in winter
48.  i randomly quote song lyrics and movie lines all the time
49.  i get crabby and cynical when i'm tired
50.  i am a morning person
51.  my pet peeves include people who don't signal when driving, bad manners, backseat drivers, bad spellers, and people who have bad breath
52.  i dislike food that is flavoured like other food, i.e. sour cream & chive potato chips and anything barbecue flavoured but barbecue sauce
53.  Mexican is my favourite type of food
54.  i hate miniature golf
55.  i can't ice skate
56.  it took me 5 years to learn Euchre
57.  i am compulsive about cleaning
58.  i hate Yoda and ET - it seriously creeps me out when people impersonate their voices 
59.  i drink tea and coffee
60.  i love all things chocolate
61.  i am impatient
62.  listening to rain puts me to sleep
63.  my collection of Classical music outnumbers my collection of everything else
64.  i took tennis lessons in high school, played softball, and was a lifeguard for 4 years
65.  i want to have children some day
66.  i'm dying to go to Europe
67.  i sometimes feel like no one really knows or understands who i am
68.  i like it when boys 'get it'
69.  i have kept a journal since 5th grade
70.  i've always wanted to travel Route 66 all the way across the country, Kerouac style
71.  only recently have i learned who i am, but i still wonder how the hell i got where i am now
72.  i forget birthdays
73.  i love campfires
74.  i hate weddings
75.  i am NOT girly
76.  there's a piano in my bedroom
77.  if i had to choose between a back rub and sex, i'd choose the back rub, and yes i am doing it right
78.  frequently i keep myself awake at night by thinking too much
79.  i haven't flown on a plane in 12 years
80.  i love to sing...in the car, in the shower, in line in the grocery store
81.  i have a tendency toward laziness, but i call it self-examination time
82.  i don't ever wear shorts unless the temperature is above 80 degrees
83.  i make friends easily, and usually almost instantly
84.  i have tendonitis in my right shoulder
85.  i have never broken a bone (knock wood)
86.  i once saved my sister from drowning
87.  i think i look bad-ass in sunglasses
88.  i don't keep in touch with any of my ex-boyfriends
89.  i have been to a nudist beach
90.  i love weird people, and those quirky little things that make people who they are
91.  my favourite movies are gladiator movies like Spartacus and Ben-Hur
92.  i try new things whenever possible
93.  i make an interesting impression on parents...
94.  ...friends' parents usually think i'm trouble, but boyfriends' parents like me more often than not
95.  i haven't had a haircut in 3 years
96.  i have an extremely strong sense of compassion
97.  i have an extensive collection of wool sweaters and t-shirts
98.  sometimes i feel like i was born in the wrong century
99.  i know what it feels like to be in love
100.  i am a Righteous Babe 

a word to the wise

Do NOT go to Flour City.  We went last night, and in a word, AWFUL!  There was hardly anyone there, on a Saturday night, which right away gave me an uneasy feeling.  So what if they just opened at the beginning of May?  That's no reason for us to sit there a good 10 minutes after ordering our beer!  What was the server waiting for?  An engraved invitation? 
 
And the food...!  I ordered the Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad.  The chicken wasn't grilled (it appeared to have been boiled - limp, tasteless, and room temp), nor was the salad "Caesar" (no fresh grated Parmesan, limp greens, and dressing that wasn't really Caesar).   Atleast the beer was semi-adequate.  I'll never go there again, and don't you, either!   
 
The only redeeming part of the evening was the company, and following things up with a pint of Guinness at Shamrock Jack's afterward.  We should have just gone there to eat.

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection." Anais Nin

Perhaps I am spreading myself too thin. 
 
I keep two journals...one under my bed that has been the undoing of many relationships, and one I carry in my bag with me everywhere.   Lately I have been neglecting both, which loosely means, really, that I have been neglecting myself.  Again.  Or, still?  I write of what I think I know, but actually it is more of what I do not know.  I feel uninspired, stressed, used up.  I said I was going to do so much and have accomplished so little in the past four months.  Big plans deflate easily with muse and distraction.  How much of that is circumstance and how much is free will?
 
There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.  -Anais Nin

*yawns*

First, before I post, *EXPLETIVE DELETED*.
I had another post but it is now lost.  Balls.  Hopefully I can remember what it was I had written.....*thinks*
Nope. 
Anyway, the bulk of my time in the last week or so has been spent on wedding preparations.  I depart for Buffalo in exactly one week.  What I have been doing (mostly wedding-related):
 
1.  Picked up the bridesmaid dress and obsessed over the fact that it does not fit quite right.  Scrambling now to have alterations completed in time so that I will not be forced to skip down the aisle in merely my unmentionables and my ultra-cute, a-la-Audrey-Hepburn kitten heels.
 
2.  Driven all over town looking for an appropriate wedding gift.  Found one...custom...will be ready for pick up on Thursday. 
 
3.  Consumed copious amounts of beer that have resulted in the participation in some very interesting conversations, including the following:
  TJ:  (something about the matching orange, "crabby" pants we both happened to be wearing at the same time)
  Me:  Take my pants off! 
  (roaring fits of laughter)
     .....and 
  Brett:  I masturbate a lot...I wore out a porno DVD.
  Random Guy in Bar:  Which one?!?!?
 
4.  Experiencing mad food cravings, including ice cream, cheeseburgers, french fries, pizza with mushrooms (actually consumed), egg salad, corn on the cob, Caesar salad with grilled salmon, and lobster.  Ooh my stomach wants to be fed!!
 
5.  Racked my brain for wedding toast topics.  How does one adequately embarrass the bride and groom without pissing off their parents?  They all know where I live. 
 
So, if I'm getting this nervous already about a wedding which isn't even mine, I can't imagine how the Bride is feeling.  A week from tomorrow.....! 

drinking madness

A short account of the very liquid-y weekend, had by all...

Friday: Many, many pitchers at MacGregor's, Lenny Kravitz played on the jukebox just for me, some scheming that was not so obvious (or was it?!?! TJ?), LOUD exclamations about relations, Julia missing her fries with the salt shaker and hitting the plate several times in a row instead, finger-wagging, lots of ass-grabbing (friends' asses and strangers' asses), and all around way too much fun. See Ryan's post for full details.

TJ trying to defeat Amazon Woman at pool.

Sean and Beth

Saturday: Oooh, the Mad Tea Party was a great success!




the fabulous 'mad' favors


Julia: "OH! They look phallic!"

wandering aimlessly

I felt a little questionable last night, so we drove all over town looking for a relatively uncrowded bar. We found ourselves at O'Loughlin's around 9:30ish and discovered the Fast Ferry was about to come in and dock:


The Fast Ferry

The photos are slightly blurry due to the motion of the boat- that thing is faster than a minnow can swim a dipper. It pulled into the channel, whipped around, and docked in probably under 2 minutes, if that. It was pretty incredible to watch.



Afterwards, more wandering, and ending up at Dick & Mare's.

Note to self: Do NOT tell anyone else about how I hocked a major lung oyster on the car plastered with "W in '04" stickers, parked next to me at Kitchen's Etc.

playing catch up

4 July
Rain, rain, and more rain...got utterly drenched on the High Falls bridge while craning our necks to see the fireworks. Afterwards, we warmed ourselves at Bru with brew.

6 July
Anne and I spent most of the day running around, finalizing the preparations for the Mad Tea Party on Saturday. It was a day of aggravation, helplessness, and car rides from Spencerport to Henrietta, to Penfield, to Victor, and back to Spencerport. With only time for about 1 margarita in between. Oh balls. As if the day couldn't have been worse, on the way back to Spencerport so Anne could pick up her car, we got stuck in a major traffic jam:

Route 531, 5:15pm on Tuesday
We sat in the car, not moving, for almost an hour. Perfect.

7 July
The best day of the week so far was yesterday. Gretchen and I got in the car around 9:30am and headed toward Jamestown. We stopped in Westfield to have lunch at the Main Street Diner. Not realizing that we weren't yet in Mayville, we headed to the library. This proved to be quite fortuitous, because we collected so much information for our research on the towns of Ellington and Poland, that we didn't even find it necessary to go to Mayville. Once we figured out we weren't there yet.

We wrapped things up around 3-ish and headed to Jamestown for a short visit with Julia and Matt. This is why I love my best friend:
Julia - Hey! Want something to drink?
Me - Yeah, do you have any beer?
Julia - Um, we have Moosehead and Blue Light
Me - Can we go to the brewery?
Julia - Sure!

So, we got back in the car and drove to Southern Tier. For the second time in the last month. HOWEVER, I'm smoking mad because as soon as we pulled in the parking lot, they locked the goddamn doors! NO!!!!!!!!!!! Julia pulled incessantly on the door handles, in disbelief, but to no avail. So we went to Weggie's and got 2 12-packs instead.

We had pizza at Pace's, and Gretchen and I were on the road to come home by 8.

And, to top off the evening, I knocked a bottle of the Mild on to the floor once we got home. It smashed. Oh balls.

you know that apple green ice cream can melt in your hands

The other night I had my first Abbott's of the season. Even though I was kind of in an iffy mood that night, I was somewhat comforted by the familiarity of Beach Avenue.

The two months before and after I moved back to Rochester sucked all my energy out. My attitude needed a major adjustment - it took a while for me to stop looking at myself as a victim of circumstance.

you're just an empty cage, girl, if you kill the bird

I've danced with my demons, and now I'm laying them to rest.