Friday, May 16, 2003

The Long Road Home

This afternoon I'm heading home to Rochester for the second time this month (3rd time this year!). This time I'm going alone, as Kevin has little vacation time left. I always start to feel anxious about these trips when I make them alone. There's a kind of duality about I'm 2 people separated by the long stretch of I-90 between Rochester and Cleveland. When I make the trip, in a lot of ways I feel like I'm going back to my former self. I have done so much growing and changing since I left Rochester that going home really feels like I'm just temporarily visiting some foreign place. Yet, when I get there, the place will seem familiar. I, however, will feel awkward. I don't know my way around anymore. I don't have a room at my parents' house anymore. My old neighbors don't recognize me at all, and I have a fear of running into old high school acquaintances who never left.

These visits always make me nostalgic. I'm sure I'll spend a lot of time day dreaming and writing in my journal. Maybe I'll even get to see a couple of the people there about whom I still care. There are a few. The good thing is that my time in Rochester itself will be brief. Saturday morning we head to SUNY Potsdam to meet up with my sister who graduates on Sunday. Then it's back to Rochester again Sunday afternoon after the graduation ceremony. Then it's back to Cleveland on Monday.

At least I'll have the long car trips to help prepare myself and make peace with my anxiety. It's really not that bad. Just different.

No comments: