I know it's not worth me getting aggravated over, but...

...how's this for a load of you-know-what?

Already today is the last day of August, and summer will be over soon. Not that we really had a summer anyway. Whenever seasons change, I've innately always started to re-evaluate things in my own life.

I have danced with my demons.
I have questioned what love really is, and what it isn't.
I have been left alone, with dry eyes and confusion.
I have known comfort, pity, obligation, and guilt.
I have tried desperately to fight my way back into my own life.
I keep things separated with gnawing misgivings.
It's funny how I manage to chronicle the creations and the demises, but never the evolution; from beginning to end.

"give me Religion and a lobotomy"

upside down

inside my head the noise

chatter, chatter, CHATTER, chatter, chatter

you're all the same

still coming out of your mothers

upside down

*gurgle*

Remind me never to drink ever again.

It's Not Unusual

All of my friends have little quirky, endearing traits which make them unique. For example, Julia is fascinated by natural disasters. Beth bears an uncanny resemblance to Tweety Bird. Anne and Julia and both die-hard Anglophiles (we won't hold that against them, though).

Last night, on my way home from rehearsal, I caught the end of an interview with one of my quilty pleasures on Fresh Air. As for me? Heh. Since highschool, I have had an addiction to Tom Jones. So, it wasn't unusual to find magazine clippings of one of my favorite Welsh men (hah!) taped to my locker door before homeroom on any given day.

Look what I found:

(Caption: What's the kinkiest offering ever tossed your way? One time a woman threw a sequined jockstrap, because that year I was wearing sequined jackets. So I picked it up and said, "Well, this is next year's wardrobe.")


(Caption: Is it difficult to work in tight pants? Not really. I grew up in the '50s wearing tight pants.)

Incidentally, this is how cool Tom Jones really is...in 1995 he even did a duet with Tori Amos. *Sighs*

How's this for irony?

So, yesterday Ryan tells me he's using the Kostka/Payne Tonal Harmony text in school, which is the same book Julia and I used at B-W. This prompted me to dig out some of my old notes, all of which I kept. Leafing through them, I discovered several quotes I had written down, coined by our old Harmony professor Dr. Hirt. Love that man....

A few of my favorite Hirt-isms:
"If I'd had good eyes, I would've been a fighter pilot."

Written on a homework assignment:
"Thanks for keeping your work from last quarter - 20 points extra credit"

In reference to an F#-Ab-C triad:
"Root-less sonorities, not ruthless...ruthless...heh heh heh."

"You don't hear spelling. Spelling does not preclude function."

"But wait, Dr. Hirt! You have two secondary dominants in a row! So what?!"

"My wife says I'm the only one who thinks I'm funny."

"Two tritones nested inside one each other...that's a train...hmm...train-tone?!"

In reference to a female classmate's red sweater:
"That's a nice sweater. I would wear it, I mean, if I were...you know..."

Almost a disaster

Friday night we went over to Ben and Susan's for a wine-drinking-classical-music-listening get together.

(This is what happens when Ben has too much.)

On the evening's agenda was, first and foremost, the consumption of five bottles of wine between the four of us. I think my favorite was the Piping Shrike Shiraz that Ryan and I had selected.

And for the listening segment?
1. the Meyer Bottesini Concertos with Josh Bell (hubba hubba) and Yo-Yo Ma (Ben's selection)
2. Dear Boy from Candide (Bernstein, of course), and some other things that escape me now, which Susan chose. I vaguely recall some Sinatra in there somewhere. Susan - some help??
...and the three things I brought over as my contribution:
3. the Mahler 9th (New York Phil with Kurt Masur)
4. The Great Gates of Kiev from Pictures (my favorite Cleveland Orchestra/Dohnanyi recording of all time)
5. the first movement from Brahms' 4th in E Minor, Op. 98
Maybe it was the wine, but I cried pretty much all night. I wish everyone could be moved by music like that.

Once we ran out of wine, though, Ben convinced us to go to Jack's for last call. At first we thought we'd walk, since it's nearby. We headed out up the hill, the three of us arm in arm, with Susan still at home passed out on the living room floor. I guess I decided I didn't want to walk so we turned around and got in the car. After a pint or two of Guinness, well...I've definitely felt better than I did Saturday morning.

Good times.

photos from moving day

Thank goodness this is over!

Here we go!

TJ gettting rid of (breakable) unwanted stuff, while working out some frustrations, too. Gotta love the sound of shattering glass.

John in the truck

John's balancing act

Cigarette break time (TJ and Ryan)

in the works

soon as i get my act together (i can't think with all this clutter!), i will post photos from moving day, and from our friday night listening party at Ben and Susan's. part of the problem is that i didn't feel so good saturday, and spent most of the day in recovery. and yesterday? we won't even go there. yet.

*waves*

It's been a long, emotionally tiring week, which is the reason for no posting...

Cheers to Ryan for heading off to school, and already mildly kicking ass on 2 placements. You'll be missed!

Proust Questionnaire

Your most marked characteristic? compassion

The quality you most like in a man? sensitivity

The quality you most like in a woman? honesty

What do you most value in your friends? loyalty

What is your principle defect? self-doubt

What is your favorite occupation? nurturer

What is your dream of happiness? enough

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes? living without any joy in one's life

What would you like to be? self-actualized

In what country would you like to live? one without hate

What is your favorite color? red

What is your favorite flower? purple coneflower

What is your favorite bird? loon

Who are your favorite prose writers? Nin, Winterson

Who are your favorite poets? Sexton, Eliot, Atwood, Jong

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Dominick Birdsey

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction? Isadora Wing, Tashi, Celie

Who are your favorite composers? Brahms, Mahler, Lauridsen

Who are your favorite painters? Van Gogh, Pollack, Mondrian

Who are your heroes in real life? family

What is it you most dislike? ignorance

What natural gift would you most like to possess? patience

How would you like to die? without suffering

What is your present state of mind? open

To what faults do you feel most indulgent? laziness

What is your motto? all you need is love is all you need

The Last Hurrah

What I like most about being back in Rochester:

Anne, Sean, Ben, Jeff, Beth, & Ryan

ich bin ein auslander

we may be on this road but we're just Impostors in this country you know

Stupid New York State laws.

and in other news...

1. Courtney asked me to post this link to Electile Dysfunction 2004 - Maxim's online election coverage which is being handled ever-so-astutely by her "hot friend".

2. Hopefully, Julia and Matt are enjoying their honeymoon cruise in the Southern Caribbean, and not being adversely affected by the untimely weather anomalies going on out there.

3. Hopefully, my brother, sister, and friends enjoyed the third-to-last Phish show in Camden, N.J. last night. Wonder if they left the leaky tent at home this time.

clarity

Do you think
just like that
You can divide
This
You as yours
Me as mine
to before we were
Us

If the rain
Has
to separate from
Itself
does it say
"pick out your
cloud?"
pick out your
cloud

My next career? Professional Klutz.

Yesterday was one of those days I should have never gotten out of bed.

I burned my left index finger on the stove while checking to see if the back pilot light had gone out in addition to the front one. It hadn't. Later, I managed to melt an entire tube of chapstick all over a load of laundry in the dryer. And finally, last night while at Ben and Susan's, I tried my hand (hah!) at "knife-catching" when Susan dumped the knife block off the counter. Not to mention the three or four times I bumped my head on the 1. refrigerator door, 2. the car door, 3. the dryer door, and 4. the shower stall door.

Not five minutes after we walked in the door last night, I was bleeding. The glass of wine Ben brought me while I was bandaging myself helped to somewhat assuage the disgust I felt as a result of my clumsiness.

Once the drinking commenced, however, I forgot all about the pain. At least I can still type now. Haven't tried playing piano yet. Let's hope I'm functional in that arena still, too. If not, what would I say to the church congregation tomorrow morning when I'm fumbling around on the organ? Luckily the pastor is on vacation so I'll have minimal explaining to do. Sheesh.

Why am I smiling??? That's Susan trying to help me re-enact my knife-catching stint. Note my bowling fingers which are bandaged. Appropriate for our viewing of The Big Lebowski. And I hadn't had anything to drink yet at this point, but a few sips of wine. I'm such a mess.

Hair this morning, gone by Noon

I had a whopping 10 inches cut off this morning so I could donate my hair to Locks of Love.

Here's the proof!

Soon as someone takes a photo of my head, I'll post that, since I'm terrible at photographing myself.

"She looks like a plucked chicken!" -Mom

It begins...

Tomorrow I go in at 11am for my chopping. Gretchen's appointment was changed to tomorrow, also. Mom will probably go into cardiac arrest before the day will be over, due to sensory overload.

Harley before we went to the groomer.

Harley after being "plucked".

Scott Adam Bresson

18 October 1962 - 3 August 2002

Wherever you are, I hope you have peace. I miss you, dear friend.

Thus begins the week of the modified hair-don'ts

Tomorrow - my sister
Wednesday - my dog
Thursday - me