a marital discussion

As everyone knows, I am a huge junkie. Last night on my way into practice, I was listening to an interesting commentary on All Things Considered:

How Straight Couples Are Riding on the Coattails of Gay Rights
by Heather Dune Macadam

In Massachusetts, many private employers are phasing out their domestic partner benefits over the next few years, on the logic that since gays can now marry in Massachusetts, there is no need for benefits for unmarried partners -- gay or straight. Commentator Heather Dune Macadam says that if straight couples in Massachusetts want to share health insurance, they ought to get married instead of taking advantage of rights that gays have worked hard to earn. (You can listen to the story by clicking the above link.)

It is food for thought. Earlier, Ryan and I started discussing marriage as a government institution vs. as a religious institution. I find it curious how marriage means different things to different people. I, personally (an employee of the Lutheran ELCA), think it's more critical that married couples are recognized by the government rather than the church.

In the Lutheran church, the act of marriage is more for ceremonial purposes than recognition...it is seen as merely a confirmation of the legal marriage. In other words, walking down the aisle is just for show.

Admittedly, I had a Protestant church wedding. But I also had a civil ceremony in front of a judge first. Even though I am now separated, on the road to divorce, and probably slightly jaded in my view of marriage, I still think this is an important argument to consider. I guess I don't understand how, for example, one can be morally opposed to the concept of marriage because it is seen by the majority of society as a religious institution, when really isn't it about what the 2 involved parties believe? If you both believe it to be more of a legal bond than a religious bond, why not just go to a judge and just do it?

Realistically, how does being recognized as a married couple by the church help you, aside from the obvious getting into Heaven thing? The church doesn't give you a break on taxes. The church won't acknowledge someone's power of attorney, will it? The church doesn't provide financial assistance to you for life if your spouse dies.

So who cares? Get married so at least you can get cheaper health insurance. But only if your betrothed doesn't repulse you, because let me tell you, divorce is not cheap...it's a big pain in the ass.

Comment away.

tummy troubles...

...and I'm not sure if it's nerves, or the slightly undercooked cheeseburger I ate last night.

snow, snow, snow

This was the view Saturday night leaving the birthday celebration at the Grill. Yes, I actually hung my head out the window of the moving vehicle to snap this photo.

Yesterday, I arrived at work, after an hour-long commute (which normally takes me 25 minutes) on treacherous highway, to this:

1. An unplowed parking lot, snowplow stuck in snowbank, the irony of which needs no words.
2. The front door of the building frozen shut. I had to sit in my car and wait for someone else to show up to help me get the door open.
3. These words from the Pastor: "Oh, you didn't need to come in today. I was going to call you last night, but I forgot."

'Nuff said.

the driveway of endless moments

epiphany;

a fifteen years to life sentence.

i feel like i am just waking up.

bbq and blues

Friday, Lauren and I went out to Brockport to hear Ryan play a gig at the Merchant Street Smokehouse.

While the food was decent at best, (go to Sticky Lips or the Dino instead), Lauren and I had a great time people-watching. Especially the overzealous under-agers and groupies dressed for 70 degree weather rather than 20 degree weather. Check out the rabid fan in the photo on the bottom (in the gray sweatshirt).

The band was entertaining...good original tunes, adequate covers. We thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the "less bass, more harmonica". The crowd seemed to like it, too; meanwhile Lauren and I were having trouble enough with the idiot bartender who wouldn't give Lauren our $1 draughts for Ladies' Night. Sometimes complaining actually is effective - in this case we got a round of free drinks!

news

It seems another of my friends is expecting a baby. Is there something in the water? Anyway, congratulations are in order to Christa, my dear friend from college, and her husband Stew. (Below is the most recent photo I have of Christa, but that is NOT Stew on the Left. heh.)

That's Ryan on the left, Christa on the right.

Congratulations, Christa and Stew!

dreams

there is something i didn't tell you today.

we were so caught up in the busy but mundane, that it slipped from my memory and froze somewhere on the outside of my brain. now i remember.

last night i had a dream i loved two men; one from the past, one from the present. i hated every second of it but i couldn't fight it - i knew i was drenched in sub-conscious. i woke up terrified that it all might go away at once and i wouldn't be able to hold on. i felt absence and sadness again...i felt it coming.

rats

Drat. Interview moved to Wednesday, so now I have to psych myself up all over again.

In the mean time, for this afternoon, I'd better go de-stink-ify.

irony

It's been almost a year since I moved back to Rochester. In that time, my brother, and now my sister will have moved away. Last night we surprised my sister with a going away party:

'Can you dig it?'

Incidentally, G is also on page 4B of today's Democrat & Chronicle. Read the story here.

Bon voyage, G...I'll miss you.

"Do we not, in truth, ask the impossible of music when we expect it to express feelings, to translate dramatic situations, even to imitate nature?" -Stravinsky