Last night at dinner, over some yummy pesto ravioli and made-from-scratch Alfredo, I remarked to Ryan about how life seems to be moving so fast these days and I can't seem to catch up. Sometimes I feel like it's leaving me behind, in a sense.
We've watched just about all of our closest friends marry. Then they started buying houses and having kids. Now our parents are aging, some with pretty complicated health issues.
"They're not going to die soon," he told me later as we were sitting on the couch digesting.
"It's going to be sooner than later." I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted a little.
I haven't had the best relationship with my parents; my father especially. We are polar opposites in many ways, including our social, political and economic views. I vehemently disagree with a lot of the choices they have made throughout their lives, for which they are now suffering the consequences.
"But how will I be my Mom's kid without my Mom? I still feel like I'm 12 years old sometimes!"
"Honey, you're being irrational. You'll always have a mother, alive or dead. Yay, Scooter's face doesn't smell like cat-butt anymore."
Love that Ryan, I do. He is always the voice of reason and the master of changing the subject.
2 comments:
One of the things that dogged me for many years were the things that were left unsaid between my dad and me before he died in 1988. We had just started to have an understanding of one another when he passed away, never seeing me accomplish the things I have in the process. It took a lot of therapy to get myself past the guilt, and the idea that somehow, it was my fault for not opening up sooner.
I know all about not having the best relationships with a parent. Do yourself a favor; Act on it now, before the opportunity slips away. Even if it is never repaired completely, say what you need to say, and above all, don't blame yourself in any way for their choices. I haven't made that same mistake with my mom, though we have always gotten along far better in every respect. She knows how I feel about almost everything, even when the subject causes friction between us. (See my latest blog post for an example.)
Here endeth the lesson.... ;-)
(Ryan - stay on topic dude! ;-) )
I can completely identify with you in this post. Things are just flying by so fast that it's all we can do to just live in the moment. But if you can take time to remember the past or plan a little for the future, those moments seem to get lost in time.
It's cool to see you writing so much lately.
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