Doesn't surprise me one bit.

"Can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being."
-Poe


My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

create your own visited states map

My mother-in-law showed up at work today and screamed at me in front of my entire office.

some people wear their heart up on their sleeve
i wear mine underneath my right pant leg
strapped to my boot
don't think cause i'm easy i'm naive
don't think i won't pull it out
don't think i won't shoot

Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Relations with partners of all kinds - business, romantic, creative - might be somewhat strained today, dear Gemini. You and the other parties involved could have been under a lot of stress, and you might find yourselves snapping at each other. It might be a good idea to keep contact between you and your partners at a minimum. If you can't, try to be cordial and cooperative - even if you don't feel like it!

HA!

Legolas Orlando


What Orlando Bloom are You?
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Good. You know your music. You should be able to
work at Championship Vinyl with Rob, Dick and
Barry


Do You Know Your Music (Sorry MTV Generation I Doubt You Can Handle This One)
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Sunday after church, Kevin and I drove to Rochester so I could have a dress fitting. We managed to shove all kinds of activities into 18 hours worth of time there, including dinner with my parents, going to the bars with Anne and Julia, bowling, lunch with Mom and Gretchen, and a little exploring around town.

There is so much snow in Irondequoit!

I don't really feel much like posting today. I think I'll end there.

i'm over the anger
i'm over the ways we used to hurt each other
without trust

I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

so i hear this song on the radio on the way to work this morning
it's something i haven't heard in years
not since that time you reached for your guitar
and we sang

perfectly in tune
and i was stunned

there were nights we went to bed early
the two of us side by side on a twin mattress
the only thing that connected us was the music

I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

we sang four years
fought fiercely for the song
changed
cheated
embraced
just to get through it

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before
I went in seeking clarity.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

then we were on our own
together but separate
out there in a fresh yet unforgiving place
the beginning of the end
of that song that you started
that i finished

two parts became a solo

We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

closer to fine

Three of my girlfriends and I had a marvelous time at the very opulent, Art-Deco Severance Hall last night. We heard Beethoven's 2nd Symphony in D Major, the Mendelssohn E Minor Violin Concerto, and Respighi's Church Windows. I thought it was a good program, if a bit tired at times, but maybe that's just because it was a Tuesday night.

I have to say that I enjoyed the Respighi the most. I have a more contemporary taste in classical music. I love the late-Romantic, neo-Classical music that was written at the turn of the last century and in the early 1900's, as well as even more recent music (i.e. Lauridsen and Corigliano). Musically I think it's because it's less "organized" than earlier music. In music from the Classical period, everything is so clearly defined....first you have the introduction, the main theme, the secondary theme, maybe even a tertiary theme. All the rhythmic motives are established. Then there's the development, the recapitulation, maybe a coda. Everything is so strict tonally and rhythmically. What I like about more contemporary music is that it's less rigid. I can focus more on the soundscape of it and not get distracted by its structural form.

And there's your theory lesson for the day...

my new favorite Tori song...

i knew a boy who would
not share his bike
oh, but he let me go sailing
i swore that i
could survive any storm
oh then he let me go

"can you launch rockets from here?"
boy, i've done it for years
right over my head
and when i promised my hand
he promised me back
snow cherries from france
all that summer
we traveled the world
never leaving his own back garden
girls, i didn't know
just what it could be
oh, but he let me go sailing

you question me,
"can you ride anything?"
lord, do you mean like your mood swings
invaders and traders with
the best intentions
may convince you to go
"they look like pirates from here"
boy, i've been one for years
just keeping my head
and when i promised my hand
you promised me back
snow cherries from france

and then one day he said
"girl it's been nice,
oh, but i have to go sailing"
with cinnamon lips
that did not match his eyes
oh then he let me go

I'm hanging out at work for a little while longer tonight, since no one is here to cover me when I leave at the moment.

Kevin and I had a wild and crazy weekend. Sort of. Let's call it 'emotionally charged' instead. A list of interesting and notable things that happened:

1. After depositing his paycheck on Friday, Kevin noticed that there was an error in his bank account balance. Or so we think. But neither of us knows anyone nice enough to just give us a SUBSTANTIAL amount of money without saying anything about it. This is leaving us in agony since the banks are closed today and we won't be able to figure this thing out till tomorrow. What would you do if the bank made a huge error in your favor?

2. Being the sucker for animals that I am, I rescued yet another stray kitten. But I am NOT keeping her! She needs a home! A gorgeous cinnamon-colored little bag of bones....undernourished and exhausted...she must have found a way to get into the garage to keep from freezing to death.

3. More arguments with the in-laws. 'nuff said.

Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness...
Think about that one for a while.

Yesterday I told my boss I would be leaving. Eventually.
There are so many factors to consider...which I don't feel like discussing now, but will have to confront sooner or later. So, boss told me that when I leave he would like 30 days notice. Ha! He'll be lucky if he gets 2 weeks. Boss also told me that business is really as bad as I thought it was so my position will go to part-time after I'm gone - 2 or 3 days a week. I suppose I should feel lucky he didn't decide to make it part-time a year ago.

Still no word from my in-laws.
I wonder how people get away with behaving so poorly.

I am desperately looking forward to hearing the Cleveland Orchestra on Tuesday. A friend of mine occasionally gets free tickets through work and always invites me. Don't tell anyone but I have just a slight crush on the Concert Master.

Looking for a new job sucks.
I haven't had to do it in several years so I feel like I'm out of the loop. Also my education doesn't qualify me for much. What do you do with a music degree? Go back to school. I'm just interested in so many things...art, literature, music, health, the outdoors,ministry...the list goes on. ARGH! Not to mention the job market blows everywhere. I'm so encouraged.

I mopped the basement floor tonight. I also packed boxes of dishes than I haven't used since the last time we moved.

The approach of the inevitable...

Brrrr.....
Coldness.
Packing today...lots of packing to do. I am so unmotivated since we are not dealing with the most ideal of situations.

I need to find another home for Oscar and his continence problems, because they keep getting worse. There may be a call to the APL today. :o(

Top 10 Good Things of 2003
10. the engagements of several friends
9. hearing my very first Tori Amos sound check from the water while cruising down the river on the boat
8. my awesome flower gardens this past summer
7. finding out who my true friends are
6. remaining employed while jobs were being lost all around me
5. getting Harley
4. reclaiming a friendship with Courtney
3. the support of my family
2. Our wedding
1. Kevin's almost complete recovery from Schizophrenia (he's doing awesome, by the way!)

ahhh...hello ol' Blog...

Now that all the festivities are over, I can start posting again.
Except today is too busy...cleaning and showing the house. Maybe tomorrow. But I AM STILL HERE!!!!